man_looking_down
man_looking_down

There's an old saying: "nice guys finish last." Before I met my husband I dated a lot of “nice guys.” They would bend over backwards for me, call me all the time, rush to open the door, tell me that we were going to get married and have lots of babies, and all the time I couldn’t help but yawn. Don’t get me wrong, I like a man to be nice, but I don’t want a man to be desperate. Women can smell a desperate man from a mile away. They can tell when he is needy, they can tell when he is clingy, and they can tell when he has no backbone. We want a man who takes charge, a man who makes us come running, and a man who stands up for his beliefs.The quintessential alpha male always gets the date, and why is this? Simply because he goes for it, he knows how to play the game, and he’s not a pushover.

If you’re a nice guy, does that mean you will always finish last? Absolutely not. Just try some of these techniques to stop being so nice and start being great:

Don’t Just Be Mr. Agreeable

Being Mr. Agreeable is a great. You probably feel like you are in everyone’s good standing and have made everyone like you. But the truth is, agreeable people are barely respected. They are not looked upon as leaders or asked to take charge. In the dating world, Mr. Agreeable finishes last. Women aren’t looking for someone who agrees with them all the time. They want someone who has their own opinion, someone who takes control and isn’t afraid of a little debate.

Get in the Race

It may seem like the movies, but if you want a woman badly enough you have to fight for her. Women love a man who makes valiant efforts for her attention. If there are other men she is going on dates with, how do you stand out? Are you in the race? Do you expect her to do the work? By all means, do not call her a million times or send her emoticons in text messages. Do not, do not do that. Instead, surprise her with flowers at work. Or do something unexpected. Show her that you are in the race and that you are assertive. She will be impressed as long as you do it with confidence and show her you believe you're awesome and she should like you.  She will eventually, but you have to show her you like and believe in yourself first.

Avoid the Friend Zone

The dreaded friend zone. Once a woman places you in the friend zone, you might never be able to get out. The key here is to avoid the friend zone all together. Make sure a woman knows your intentions from the start: you are not interested in being her friend, you want to be her lover, you want to be her man, you want to be her boyfriend. Be friendly with the woman but do not get coffee with her and hang out with her girlfriends. That’s what her gay boyfriend is for. You can be friendly with the girl but don’t offer to be her shoulder to cry on when her crush doesn’t work out. You will be the go-to shoulder the cry on or the rebound hook up, but you will not be the next boyfriend. Whatever you do, avoid the friend zone at all costs.

Desperate guys- not nice guys- finish last. If you are a nice guy, be a nice, great guy. Stick to your morals and values. Stand up for yourself and ask for what you want. You will be surprised when women start showing interested. After all, confidence is sexy!  While you may think you're trying to be likeable, this is not the case.  At the end of the day it's necessary for people to first respect you, then like you.

What do you think about our opinions on nice guys or gals for that matter? Are you a guy or lady that struggles as "the nice" date?  Share your thoughts below...